


The Knight and the Castle

by fannishliss



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Book 60: Lungbarrow, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Lucid Dreaming, Matchmaker TARDIS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-12 22:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3356828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fannishliss/pseuds/fannishliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose has a dream and it wakes up the Doctor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Knight and the Castle

“Sleep well?” the Doctor asked, as Rose ambled into the console room with her morning cuppa. 

“Yeah…” Rose said. “Mostly. I had a dream.” 

“Mm,” he answered. “Regular dream or Tardis dream?” 

“What?” Rose said, coming more awake. “Tardis dream? What’s that?” 

He went on tinkering, but the tips of his ears had gone slightly red.

“Regular dream, you’re just playing out your subconscious thoughts, solving problems in your sleep and such. Tardis dream, that’s something else.” He dropped down and crawled under the console. Even though he seemed like he wanted to talk, Rose more than suspected it was just to get away. 

She walked around and crouched down beside the opening. “What kind of something else?” she asked. 

“The Tardis is more than just a ship,” the Doctor said. He could never keep the pride out of his voice when he spoke of her. “Sometimes, dreaming is a way for the Tardis to tell you something, since she doesn’t speak in words.” 

“You talk like the Tardis is a person,” Rose grinned. 

The Doctor sat up and looked seriously at Rose. “She can’t speak, not in so many words — but she’s bonded to me on a deep psychic level. She’s a person.” He sat back again and his face disappeared into darkness. 

“Okay,” Rose said, trying to keep the moment light. She breathed out. “But do you want to hear my dream or what?” 

“Yeah,” he said. 

“Well, there was a castle, like a big, dark, ominous castle. It was on a cliff. I didn’t understand it. There was bright sunlight but everything felt so dark, like it was underground.” 

“Hm,” the Doctor said. 

“There were mice — but they were singing. And the trees had silver leaves, and they were whispering.” 

“Ow!” the Doctor said. He said something short that Rose didn’t understand, then asked, “what were they whispering?” 

“I couldn’t quite make it out,” Rose said. “Anyway this castle. There it was on the cliff — so precarious like. So dark in such bright light. I was afraid to go in, but … at the same time… everything in the dream was like, go in, go in, so I did.” 

“And?” the Doctor said. 

“Well, it was this empty castle, full of creepy spiderwebs, and all the furniture was giant. It was so strange. No one was there.” 

“No one?” the Doctor asked, after a bit. 

“But I expected someone to be there. Like I was waiting, for someone to return.” 

“Return?” the Doctor asked, muffled. 

“Like the Castle was waiting for someone to return. Then it was you.” 

He said nothing, just a little grunty noise. 

“Only you didn’t precisely look like you.” 

“What makes you think it was me if it didn’t look like me?” the Doctor asked. He came out and stared at her, blue eyes bright. 

“It was you — but you were wearing armor.” 

“Armor! What, like Jack’s tactical gear?” 

Jack was still in bed, Rose presumed. Not an early riser, their Jack. 

“Nah, real armor. Like, shining armor. You were a real knight in shining armor!” Rose said grandly. 

“In that castle?” There was a strange weight to his words. 

“Yeah, well, it was just a dream.” 

“What next?” he asked. 

“I dunno…” she hedged. 

“I didn’t do anything? I just stood there?” he asked. “That doesn’t sound like me.” 

“You stared at me…” Rose said softly. “Your eyes were so bright. I was afraid.” 

The Doctor came out from under the console and lay aside his spanner. “Afraid of me?” he said. 

“No!” Rose said quickly. “I was afraid because you looked — well, you looked a fright. Sad, angry, guilty, afraid — but brave, like you meant to bear it, whatever it was.” 

“Hmm,” he said. He was blushing a little. 

“Nothing to do with you, of course,” Rose stammered. “Just my subconscious running on as usual.” 

“Yeah,” he said, unconvincingly.

“Unless it was a Tardis dream?” Rose suggested. 

He looked at her sharply. “Why?” 

“I dunno really, just, it felt real. It was all so strange and didn’t make sense, but it felt real.” 

The Doctor looked at her, pale and serious. She’d only told him the dream because of the thing about the armor. She’d wanted to make him smile and play. She hadn’t meant to let out that his eyes in her dream had been so disturbing. 

“When the Tardis gives you a dream, it’s like a movie she’s spliced together out of real events and things that she found in your mind. Some parts might be real, others completely imaginary.” 

“How do I tell the difference?” she asked. 

“What felt the most real?” 

“You did,” she said, without hesitation. “Not the castle, or the armor or whatever — just you. Super real.” 

She lifted her gaze to his and held on. “I see that look in your eyes, so often, Doctor. I don’t know why it’s there, but I can’t believe you deserve it.” 

He turned away with a shake of his head. “I deserve much worse.” 

“I doubt that,” she said. 

“You don’t know,” he retorted. 

“Well, I don’t care!” she said, getting fiery. “You wanna feel guilty? I guess I can’t stop you. But I bet you did the very best you could at the time. There’s no shame in that!” 

“I’m no knight in shining armor, Rose,” he denied with an empty smile. 

“You are,” she insisted. “You really, really are.” 

“To you maybe,” he said with a scoff. 

“Not just to me. To so many people you’ve saved. You’re a hero, Doctor, regardless of how your War went.” 

“My war?” The Doctor shuddered. “Never mine. Never! I never wanted — I had to stop it — !” 

His eyes shone bright against his pale face, just like the dream, so haunted, so determined. 

Rose moved forward and gently lay her hands on his arms. He met her gaze and she pulled him close, rocking him in her arms, his head on her shoulder. 

“You stopped it,” she whispered. “You did what had to be done.” 

“It hurts!” he cried and shuddered against her shoulder. But then he froze and tried to pull away. 

“It was a Tardis dream, I reckon,” Rose said, and he nodded, reluctantly. 

“You did your best, and it stopped the war. I know it hurts, and I’m so sorry. But I’m proud of you for being strong. I love you.” 

The Doctor reeled back. “You love me?” he said, eyes blazing in shock. “Rather love a monster!” 

“Jack has told me a little more about the Time War,” Rose said, “…what can be known about it — it was full of monsters, but you weren’t one of them.” 

The Doctor stared, the fury and helplessness awful in his face. 

“My people — all gone! I used the Moment to send them out of Time — before they destroyed everything!” His confession tore free and Rose didn’t shy away. 

“If you sent them out of Time, maybe that’s good. Doesn’t Time have a way of setting itself right?” 

The Doctor looked up at Rose, her sweet, loving compassion. He sent a thin tendril of awareness to his Time sense, and it told him, as it always had, that what he’d done was inevitable and right and for the best. 

He could feel it, but he couldn’t understand it, or believe it. 

Somehow, Rose would have to do the believing for him. 

“Doctor, please — just let me hold you,” Rose said. 

They were still on the grating beside the console. It wasn’t the most comfortable place. But Rose wouldn’t let go, and his barriers finally weakened and fell, and her love flooded in — love so pure and bright, like the golden fire of the vortex itself — it washed through the muddied channels of his heart and soul and swept away some of the agonizing guilt that had plagued him since the war — not all, but some. 

He lifted his head and looked at her. She looked down and loved him so. 

When their lips finally touched, their breath mingled, and fire streamed faintly between their eyes. 

Everything changed in that Moment. Rose’s love was like a shining suit of armor keeping him safe from his own reckless despair. The Doctor finally accepted his right to be alive, to be happy, to be free. 

Somewhere, a bad wolf howled, joyful and wild, and one Moment out of the living Vortex loved her Time Lord and smiled.


End file.
